Extreme intensity of the Mind

I want to share a dream I had this morning before sunrise. I must warn you first, if you are queasy, or disturbed by graphic content please don’t read any further. This was one of the most disturbing dreams I recall ever having in my life. I can still visualize it in graphic detail, like it just happened. Please trust me when I say I have held nothing back and that this blog may be quite disturbing to many.

Step back 2 days and you will find my wife and myself embarking on a private voyage upon our little yacht S/V Soul Mates. She is a lovely traditional sailing vessel designed for cruising around the world in comfort and safety. I always feel at home on her and I always feel like I am home on the water. No matter how far off shore or how miserable the weather. I hold a USCG 50 Ton Master Mariners license and I have been on the water since I was old enough to walk. I am Pisces. Go figure.

Saturday we anchor out and have a lovely dinner together, at peace in out surroundings.

Sunday was a beautiful although cold day sailing in the Pacific. We looked for whales but saw none. Only  a few dolphins in the distance and a vast ocean are our only company. We returned to anchor and enjoyed the comfort of each other and light music.

Monday morning around 4 am. My day changed.

In the world of dreams I bound in and out of different stories none of which I remember now. Save one. In my peaceful sleep I find my self suddenly thrust into this dream of cold gray and stone. Like an old middle age castle and courtyard. From here everything happens so fast I just cant understand what was going on. I turn to see a dirty and bloodied priest like person in red robes. Only I notice immediately it is not his blood smeared upon his face. I don’t know if he sees me or not but it almost seems as if I am compelled or forced to follow him just yards from where I entered the dream.I hear screams and begin to realize the chaos surrounding me. I see more of these “priests” running around purposefully and methodically. I see other people not like them being driven to the ground. I feel myself being drawn to an area near a raised stone garden at the entrance of some building. My sight is spinning from one side to the other like a camera on a pivot.

It is late sunset and it is cold and gray. Screaming is everywhere. People and priests. But the screams are not the same. The people are screaming in terror and pain. As I again focus I feel I am being driven to the ground. But I have time to scan the area again. I see men and women being driven to the ground, bound to trees building supports and attacked. I notice the blood, I can actually smell the stale, moist, metallic  odor of free flowing blood. I am driven further down. In the corner of my eye I see a man or rather a transgendered person being slaughtered with a large knife as he is tied to a cross. Screaming all the while he is being killed. He is trying to plead for his life, he is saying he has every right to be alive and why, why?… until he is dead. The blood is everywhere like a Quentin Tarantino movie.  It was awful. Literally pools of blood everywhere.

The highly enraged assailant thrusts himself in my direction as I am driven down. I see two other people below me. One a man in female clothing being held by other “Priests” and the other a woman, no a hermaphrodite woman. she is beautiful and clad in a thin linen like garment. She has the blood of many others splattering upon her. She is strapped like Jesus to a cross. Her clothing is ripped from her breast. She is exposed and suddenly a crazed man with a large knife comes at her. He jumps to her breast and begins to slice into the flesh slowly from the top down like he is cutting a ham or something. I am filled with fear and anger. I feel bound and unable to help anyone. At this point I realize all the people around are gay, trans, herm or of some similar category. All the time I am thinking these are my people why are you doing this.

I feel nothing but purer evil and hatred from these “Priests”. There eyes are wild like crazed animals. They are intent on slaughtering everyone. I hear people screaming as they try to reason and plea with our attackers. But we are all overpowered. My sight returns to the woman and the man below me. I am on my knees now bent over the woman forced to watch before my turn arises. It is of the cruelest of intents these murderers act. The woman is in so much pain as the man carves her breast from her chest only to leave them minimally intact and hanging.

I am totally freaked by the blood and graphic intensity of this dream and I now know I am dreaming. But I do not wake yet, though I try. As I begin to blur into consciousness  I see the attackers grab the woman’s dress peal it away from her and slice her penis and gouge out her vagina. I am at the same time waking and disgusted that I am even having this dream. Just before I wake I turn my head as I am forced down over the woman’s bloodied and writhing body still screaming … I see the man beside her attacked with the same intensity and the same blade as he is also dismembered. I can just now see it is happening to everyone and I am certainly next.

I awaken  in a very cold night. It is dark and quiet with only the sound of the shrimp popping on the hull of my boat. My wife is sleeping peacefully beside me none the wiser. I lay still in the darkness trying to clear my mind of these horrific images and thoughts. But as you can see it is still VERY clear in my mind now. I hope it goes away and never comes back.

Why did my subconscious do this to me? And Why so graphic and violent?
I pray I never have dream like that again. It is way to disturbing for even me to want to remember.

Peace, oh peace great ocean I seek your comfort tonight.
Nichole

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