Comments on: Gender Identity in the Gay and Lesbian Community http://nikkidreams.com/2010-01-gender-identity-in-the-gay-and-lesbian-community/ Finding Her Way Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:39:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: PumaJ http://nikkidreams.com/2010-01-gender-identity-in-the-gay-and-lesbian-community/comment-page-1/#comment-131 PumaJ Tue, 29 Mar 2011 09:19:01 +0000 http://nikkidreams.com/?p=7#comment-131 Well, some of us just are just naturally Femmes or Butches or Bois, or Aggressives. That is, these are not genders that we choose, they are naturally particular ways of being female. However, gender doesn't necessarily equate sexuality. So, not all Femmes are attracted to Butches and vice-versa. Just as not all Butch, Boi, or Aggressives are attracted to Femmes. Plus, in a situation in which one sees a Femme and Butch together, one cannot assume that the Femme is the passive one and the Butch is the aggressive one. I'm quite High Femme, but as an older Second Wave feminist I don't do the uber sexual style of dressing or wear super high heels. I do wear makeup, get my hair colored, paint my nails, and wear heels but they are only about 2" and likely to be some style of Dansko;-) However, I am only sexually attracted to very Butch women. Its just the way I'm wired. My choice in the matter was how do I get comfortable with myself as a High Femme, and how do I express my High Femme self according to what I like, not what is expected. It is true that we Lesbians are very diverse and there isn't any way of being Lesbian that is more true or real than any other. One can just look around to see that many Lesbians are neither Butch or Femme, so obviously being that isn't a requirement to be Lesbian. Well, some of us just are just naturally Femmes or Butches or Bois, or Aggressives. That is, these are not genders that we choose, they are naturally particular ways of being female. However, gender doesn’t necessarily equate sexuality. So, not all Femmes are attracted to Butches and vice-versa. Just as not all Butch, Boi, or Aggressives are attracted to Femmes. Plus, in a situation in which one sees a Femme and Butch together, one cannot assume that the Femme is the passive one and the Butch is the aggressive one.

I’m quite High Femme, but as an older Second Wave feminist I don’t do the uber sexual style of dressing or wear super high heels. I do wear makeup, get my hair colored, paint my nails, and wear heels but they are only about 2″ and likely to be some style of Dansko;-) However, I am only sexually attracted to very Butch women. Its just the way I’m wired. My choice in the matter was how do I get comfortable with myself as a High Femme, and how do I express my High Femme self according to what I like, not what is expected.

It is true that we Lesbians are very diverse and there isn’t any way of being Lesbian that is more true or real than any other. One can just look around to see that many Lesbians are neither Butch or Femme, so obviously being that isn’t a requirement to be Lesbian.

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