I woke up Wednesday morning in pain. This is a common re-occurrence that has me a little concerned. I have bone spurs in my neck that cause my right arm to go numb or my right shoulder to tingle and throb in pain. Surgery is the only way to fix it that I am told. My intense workouts are helping to strengthen the muscles around my shoulders and neck making the problem less severe. At the same time the day after an intense weight training session can be brutal.
The biggest problem with my neck is my job. Heck it is my current career actually. I like the company and the people I work with very much. It’s the what I do that is the problem. I sit in front of a computer all day. This is a highly aggravating thing for my neck problem. Thus my desire to get out of this career all together. But that is an entirely different blog.
Back too Wednesday morning. I woke up feeling depressed and very tired. I have an acute problem of staying up till 1 or 2 Am way too often. So I don’t get enough sleep. I know, I know… I have issues. I dragged my ass into work yest again barely making the daily 9:45 meeting. Guh! I hate that. The rest of the day was pretty normal with me fixing a few bugs and helping QA to get our release done. Ass-hurts-thirty and it’s time for me to go home. I cannot work for more that 8 or 9 hours. the pain is just too intolerable at that point.
I raced to the gym so that the guy I pay lots of money to beat the living crap out of my “soft-n-fluffy” physique cab go home knowing he accomplished just that. As he did. The most intense workout thus far. I barely made it into my car. I get home shower and do a little laundry, read and stuff then crash pretty hard. Night night sweet Nikki.
Thursday I awake to the startling revelation that I could not move. I literally rolled sideways out of bed and let everything fall to the floor in hopes I could stand because my abs and legs were incapable of doing the job. As for my arms… no honey I have no arms at this point. More like overdone angel hair pasta for limbs. They were not about to help me do anything.
Thursday morn is turning out swell…. swelling is more like it. I somehow manage to shave half of one underarm, apply eyeliner and mascara at which point “fuck it all” comes to mind. So I did. Thursday is so declared “I don’t care” if I look like hell day. I get dressed and for the umpteenth time this month…. race to work to make it just in the nick of time.
And it was a rather slow day. I barely got out of my chair despite the pain I was in simply because it hurt more to stand up then it did to sit and suffer. All of you younger folks out there I send you this warning. Head t well. DO NOT LET YOUR BODY GO TO WASTE. It is hell trying to get a 30 year old body back into a 40 something year old dilapidated meat sac.
We finally get back to the beginning of this story. I did not have a very busy day so I thunk too much. The lonely thoughts set in and the what the hell am I going to do with my life thoughts. But I drag myself to the Muni expecting to go squander another night alone in my room all depressed and feeling sorry for myself. But I did not do this.
I get off the train a stop ahead of my normal stop as I often do. The walk is good for me. I walked around the corner to Church and 14th, the long way home. As I round the corner the “fuck it all” attitude comes back in a good way and I decide to stop in the bar for a drink. Today would not be the first time I get there when the only person in the bar is the owner. Peter.
I like Peter and the bar so I have recently designated this “My” bar. Every time I have been in there I talk with people. Other locals. Nice people. It makes me feel 10 times better on those lonely days. It’s that kind of bar. The music is not loud. Yes you can talk to people. The drinks are good and the atmosphere is not a party hearty place after work. Love it. I can sit there and just relax. And I did.
Poor man’s Manhattan is my drink right now. They are good, a little pricey, but they do the job. And today the job is muscle relaxer! The first drink I nurture along for a good 40 minutes or so. The second and last I stretch out for about an hour. I have a 2 drink limit when I do drink so I make them last. Between the drinks and the friendly conversation I felt so much better. My muscles were sufficiently relaxed at this point. A very good thing indeed.
As my evening closes I notice a bottle on the shelf. I had to squint to see the name. St. Germain. What caught my eye was the incredible retro and artistic bottle. The Art Nouveau design is quite elegant. I think I must have stared at this bottle for half an hour contemplating what was in it. Elderflower liqueur if you were also wondering. The nice thing about this design is how it really stands out from all the other bottles. It even seemed to have it’s own light source making it pop even more.
But there it sat on the bottom shelf with all the other liqueurs. I call it St. Germain’s Shelf. The image is still burned clear in my mind. I kind of like that.