60 Seconds in My Head: Hyperpensia OCD

Hyperpensia OCD; A harmless yet highly annoying and mentally exhausting condition characterized  by too much thinking, usually uncontrolled though with extreme fast, repetitive, overlapping micro thoughts, memories and internalized vocalization. Often accompanied by a subconscious tic or hyper awareness of tactile sensations like itching, teeth grinding or tapping, bouncing or shaking of leg or foot.

The following is 60 seconds inside my. This is what I have to deal with ever day of my life, even sleeping sometimes. This is not meant as a joke or satyrical post. It is real. I even came up with the word for this condition.  The only time I get a break from the madness is playing my guitar, drawing or painting or taking a certain herbal remedy. Meditation helps but only with the right music and earphones. Music is the only thing that completely silences my mind. Now for the insanity.

60 Seconds…

(wakes up, getting lighter outside)
(tap tap tap… tap)
I have to stop this OCD. Just say no to OCD.

Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCDJust say no to OCD Just say no to OCD…
Itch on my toe. Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCD…
Itch on my head. (Scratching) Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCD…
STOP… Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCD… Just say no to OCD
(one line of chorus from an Adam Lambert song playing over and over )
I’m here for your entertainment…
Just say no to OCD…
What was that noise…
Just say no to OCD. Just say no to OCD… NIKK STOP IT!
(teeth tapping like morse code. tap tap tap… tap tap… tap.. tap…)
I’m here for your entertainment…
Just say no to OCD… (teeth tapping)
I’m here for your entertainment…
Just say no to OCD… (teeth tapping)
I’m here for your entertainment… (teeth tapping)
Just say no to OCD…
GOD DAMMIT STOP. (teeth tapping)
(random though)
(roll over in bed) (teeth tapping)
I’m here for your entertainment… I’m here for your entertainment… I’m here for your entertainment… I’m here for your entertainment… (teeth tapping) I’m here for your entertainment… I’m here for your entertainment… (teeth tapping) I’m here for your entertainment… (teeth tapping)
(random though about farming)
(Work thoughts)
(random thought about my garden)
I’m here for your entertainment… I’m here for your entertainment… 
(thirsty)
(please just go back to sleep)
(teeth tapping)(teeth tapping)(teeth tapping)(teeth tapping)
I’m here for your entertainment… 
(random thought wonder what Juv and Stei are up to)
Just say no to OCD…
(FLOOD of overlapping (random thought))(teeth tapping) ((random thought)((random ((random thought ))thought)))
I’m here for your entertainment…
(brain overloads)

I fall back asleep and there is silence

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *