Ambient in the Dark

A warm glow fills the room with ambient life.
It dances it’s colorful song in abundance just outside my window.
I peer into the light.
My restless limbs heavy as I turn.
My dreams all but faded into the subconscious.
The light beckons as it burns.
The sound of my heart broken by a passing train.

How did I get here again?

I have known the darkest places in my mind.
Felt life slipping away.
Held death in it’s last breath in my arms.

How is it the finest of threads holds so strong?

Unseen in this darkest of places.
It is not my heart that hurts, but my soul.
Even in her smile, her laughter, her love
… darkness consumes.

Holding on to this little white pill.
Is it for me?
Or is it for society?

Holding on.
It’s what we do until the universe claims it’s ground.
Until the weight of life is so faint, gravity pulls it beneath the waves.

This song is not about the living.
Nor these words a burden to bare.
Some are ghosts among us.

Some are the art and scars we carry deep inside our soul.

When does life begin?

Flowers for the Dead. No funeral. No wake. No Memorial. Simply death of the living.
Flowers for the Dead. No funeral. No wake. No Memorial. Simply death of the living.
I died this year.
But I was never dead.
I passed into some strange history, old memories.
Yet I am still here.

My passing was sudden and unexpected.
But still, I am here this very moment, never having departed.
People have and are morning the loss of me.
I never left them all the time still standing before their eyes.

Yet I died this year.
Only months have passed.
I do not feel this loss of me.
I only feel the loss of others who let me go.

Now I am dead.
But my corpse does not decay.
Every moment breathing, heart beating, thoughts fleeting.
Is this what it is like to die?

I have watched them leave.
One by One.
I saw the signs of death.
Yet I could do nothing to stop it.

I am living with death each day.
I am invisible and forgotten.
But my eyes still see those who buried me.
My heart still feels the love I never gave up.

I died this year.
So when does life begin?