Tears

Memories spill into the palms of my hands
Whetted moments blackened by the liner on my eyes

A sunset on the beach
A Valentines day in the park
A first date over pizza and beer

Smeared and wiped on the sleeves of my life

why do i cry?

why do I cry?
is the pain so great it can only escape my soul as tears?
is the joy so complete I must share it in my eyes?

the tears roll down my cheeks, daily it seems.
they evaporate and spread like the mist over the ocean.
the tears forever streaming, day and night.
they carry my joy, my pain, my sorrow, my thoughts and my love out in to the world.

why do I cry?
is there no more room for what is building inside?
is there no need to keep what is hidden or precious in my mind?

the tears for my love are filled with her memories.
they lesson the pain with each day, yet the memories are sill there.
the tears of my love are seeds to be planted.
they grow in numbers and are spread by the winds.

why do i cry?
is this the way I must travel to feel what is past, what may have been?
is this how I search for what lay dormant inside for so very long?

the tears come unpredictably now, randomly seeking to be born.
they are my only connection with something within.
the tears fall like rain then a mist, a thought, picture, smell or a sound triggering the flow.
they contain all things I have stored in my thoughts, seem in my life, lost in my heart.

why do I cry?
no answers only questions, have I not come far enough?
have I lost my way or grown somewhere deep, somewhere I cannot yet see within my soul?

The answer is obvious l LOVE, HATE, FEAR and feel JOY. Goddess what else?… there must be so, so much more. But is it really that clear so black and white so irrefutable as to be called the truth?

I never knew how to cry my entire life until I set myself free.
Now I am free. I guess something hidden within my being still needs to be too. I tortured myself looking for the key to unlocking my tears. The answer was within me all the time. I never let myself see it. Why did it take so long, half a lifetime almost, to open that door? I am filled with so much now that my freedom is real. Now that I have chosen to live. I have chosen to feel.


why do I cry?
simply,  I have let myself live, let myself feel everything around me.
because I can take it all inside, the compassion, the love, empathy, every single experience real or perceived.

these tears I set free because they must not stay inside.
they are my gift to the world, my offerings to the universe.
these tears are only mine until I pass them on.
they are my gift to you and to myself, proof of life, a life finally living.